An awful lot of people, seem to be seeking for the most part, validity from others in life – of which, that validity thus helps them to believe that they are fine, just the way that they currently are. So that, in effect, if they are doing that which they know that they shouldn’t be doing, they don’t feel all that guilty about such, because they believe that as they are, is actually acceptable not only to themselves, but also to esteemed others. In short, many people, aren’t interested in having their character challenged or examined, and pretty much desire to hear from others, that they are respected, and appreciated, just the way that they are.
Perhaps this is all to the good, that we should as societal members, respect one another, and from that respect so generated one to another, we then will not therefore be susceptible to being criticized for our own shortcomings and failures. In truth, that would seem to make for a more civil society, in which, our attitudes would thus be of a more forgiving nature -- but what we so find is that hidden just beneath the surface are the unsaid criticisms of the other, saved only for those stressful and trying times when we so desire to hurt the other, or belittle the other, or to dismiss the other – signifying therefore that though we talk of forgiveness and love, we are ever ready to attack the other, if the situation so seemingly provokes us to do so.
That, in a nutshell, is the problem with telling people want they so desire to hear, because in that telling, we often, don’t really believe that this represents the whole truth, whatsoever; and because we choose not to express our truthful opinions, that which should be examined and looked at, is thus left alone. Indeed, if we really care for the other, we have a responsibility to do our best to aid and to assist the other, best accomplished by our telling them not what they wish to hear, so as to act therefore as some sort of mindless echo chamber, but rather to challenge the other, to rise up and to become a better person, by letting them know in considerate terms, what they really should know, in order for them, to be a better and a more complete person.
Perhaps though, in such advice to the other, we may not have it completely right, in the wisdom that we so impart to them. But what of it? The point isn’t really to get every fact and nuance correct, but rather the point of our imparting such advice is to get those that are stuck in their bad habits and wrong ways, to wake up from the lethargy or ingrained weaknesses which is thus precluding them from progressing to where they really ought to go. In our most honest moments, those that are the best of our friends, aren’t really those that just tell us what we want to hear, but actually are those courageous enough to tell us what we ought to hear, and therefore what we need to know, so that we can turn around what needs to be turned around, before it becomes too late to do so.