Arranged Marriages / by kevin murray

Arranged marriages in America appeared to have gone the way of the Dodo bird, but in fact, that really isn't quite true.  Arranged marriages are still valid in America today, to which some of three specific groups of people still maintain this tradition, they are:


1.       Conservative religious people

2.       Highly educated, 1st generation Americans

3.       The rich and powerful (but typically not nouveau riche)


The reasons that these certain people are still abiding by arranged marriages is the basic understanding that rather than "love" being the primary factor in the preferred selection of one's lifetime mate, that there should instead be the careful consideration of the qualities of the proposed mate, which often includes their personality, family background, religious affiliation, economic aspects, political affiliations, heritage, long-term considerations, and the "big picture".


Another factor that isn't quite the same as an arranged marriage is the falling out of favor, of the asking of the permission from the father of the proposed bride, for the hand of his daughter.  This in of itself would do far more to remove frivolous and/or irresponsible marriages from the table to begin with than virtually anything else.  If you're proposed spouse isn't able to stand up to his future father-in-law face-to-face, at the beginning of a relationship which has progressed to a serious and mature stage, taking that time to identify himself and his future prospects, but rather on the other hand, prefers some sort of subterfuge to win the hand of his spouse with our without his future in-law's approval, that doesn't necessarily bode well for the stability or the reliability of the marriage to be.


While there are many negative things to criticize about arranged marriages, such as essentially taking away your right to choose your spouse, and also the inherent interference and complexity of trying to please everyone within the family dynamic, there are many advantages to basically having each party display their intentions and their prospects out and into the open to be reviewed, looked at, and carefully considered.  You can certainly make the valid point, that the more people that are involved in the contemplation of a proposed arranged marriage, makes for more people that have a vested interest in therefore having a successful selection andthereby a successful fruition of said relationship.


While there may not be any highly reliable statistics that demonstrate the success or lack of for arranged marriages, it is probably fair to say that the expectations for arranged marriages are pictured far differently than marriages between couples that simply fall in love.  For instance, marriages between extremely devout religious people, between highly educated and overachieving couples, as well as marriages between the rich and powerful, are marriages that conjoin those forces for a specific purpose and the breaking of that purpose will not be done for frivolous reasons.


While many Americans believe that having the choice of one's spouse, is a wonderful freedom, there are situations to which having too much choice, precludes someone from ever making that choice, as they keep searching and searching for that perfect spouse, only to discover one day, that the party is over, and they have no one left to party with.