Maturity / by kevin murray

Too many people, young as well as old, like to play the 'blame' game and refuse to take responsibility for their decisions and their life.  But your life is specifically defined by the decisions that you do make.  When you are an infant, your choices are relatively limited, and your decision-making process is immature.  An infant believes that the world revolves around them, that they should be fed when they demand to be fed, and washed and cleaned when they demand to be washed and cleaned.  This should just be a stage in life, but too many of us are infantile in our demands and needs well into adulthood.  As adults we want whatever that we want, right now!  We also get frustrated when we don't get our way, when people don't listen to us, and don't bend instantly to our needs.  We may not say it out loud, but it is always "me, me, me".


It would be better for us if we instead grow out of our infantile stage and recognize that our world actually consists of other human beings with their own needs and desires.  In order to grow and mature, we must therefore maneuver our way away from seeing the world with just our own set of eyes, but instead make the effort to see the world from another set or multiple sets of eyes.  While making this transaction there isn't any reason to assume that we know what other people are thinking, we can in fact learn much more by engaging others in conversations in which we are attentive to what they are actually saying and how they are behaving.  Often, the things that people discuss with you are quite simply the things that are most important to them.  Learning what other people are about will surprise you as you find that their priorities, perspectives, and personality may intersect with yours in certain aspects and be quite divergent in others.


Taking a real interest in other people is a definite sign of maturity.  You will find that as you reach-out and are more engaged with others that other people will reciprocate the same to yourself.  If, on the other hand, you are always in a hurry, always in a rush, always about yourself, always 'multi-tasking', you cannot expect that other people will express any real or deep abiding interest in you and your activities.  If you are trivial and shallow with others, you can expect that in whole people will be trivial and shallow with yourself. 


If you want friends in life, be sincere, interested, and friendly!  If you want mature and valued people in your life, treat people in a way in which they know that you value them, you value their friendship, and you value your conversations and time spent with each other.  Being immature is a habit; it doesn't have to be a habit that you carry with you for all of your life.  You can discard this habit and replace it with another.  Often the change that you want in this world, in your life, starts with yourself.  In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, slow things down a bit, contemplate, think, reflect, engage, smile, be friendly, be compassionate, be sincere, and be you.