Stand by Me / by kevin murray


In this fast paced world of social media, never have so many had so many friends, of which, in reality, never have so many had so few friends.  After all, the real test of whether a friend truly is a friend is how they act and behave, when something absolutely tragic or heinous occurs, for that is the test that demonstrates without equivocation, which side of the fence your friend really stands on.


In actuality, when everything is going well, the friendships are there, but in this real and complicated world, there are going to come times, when something unforeseen and unexpected happens which has real consequences, of which, friendships truly are made or unmade.  For instance, as reported by, we find that: "one in 25 Americans was arrested," in 2011, a percentage and a number which is truly staggering.  Not only is the sheer number of arrests, almost unfathomable, recognize that being arrested, essentially means in almost all cases, being handcuffed, and hence your freedom of movement being revoked, being transported to an incarceration facility, being subjected to probable custodial interrogation, and eventually, after all that, arraignment. 


Not only does this mean that those that have been arrested are in an extremely vulnerable situation, but also besides needing good legal representation, they additionally need somebody that is dependable and empathetic to their situation to handle what needs to be handled, due to their incapacitation.  In addition to that, the charges that are made against that individual are public knowledge, which is necessary in order for somebody on the outside to deal with the bail, as well as to help in contacting a good attorney, and being clearly appraised as to the serious of the charges against that person.


Unfortunately, in this country, there are way too many people, that seem to have forgotten that in America, unlike some other nations with suspect justice systems, that everyone in a criminal court of law, is innocent, until proven guilty; therefore, making the proof of guilt the burden of the state, rather than making the proof of innocence, the burden of the person on trial.   In addition, way too many credulous people believe that if a given person is arrested, that the person being arrested must have been arrested for a valid reason, believing that they don't just randomly arrest people in America.  The fact is, that not only are mistakes made all of the time, but people are arrested for all sorts of reasons, of which, some of those reasons have a lot more to do with arresting people that are an inconvenience or a thorn to the system, as it is.


So then, those that are arrested are not only in an extremely vulnerable position but they are also exposed, for the public and their friends to take their shots at them, even though they have been convicted of nothing.  Unfortunately, many friends, will readily cut their ties, if the charges are especially notorious or reprehensible, because the charges, in and of themselves, have branded that arrestee so distinctly, that being afraid for themselves of being associated with such a tint, they will therefore disengage themselves as a friend, in order to maintain their status and their own non-involvement. 


This absolutely means that getting arrested has consequences that extend far beyond the actual person being arrested, and those that stand by that person are true friends in every sense of the word, and those that don't, never were.