Love is one of those types of words, that for many a person, this is thereby fairly easily expressed and not so easily lived. For an absolute fact, to tell someone that you love them, but do not at the same time, desire the best for them, reflects clearly that you cannot possibly actually love them, at all. That is to say, love isn't selfish, but rather love properly expressed, signifies that we desire the same good for our neighbor as we would wish for our very self, no more and no less. So then, to not be able to will the good for the other, is a character flaw, that each of us should desire to overcome, which when successfully dealt with, will thus make society a better place for our participation in it.
Look, to will the good of the other, when we have a very competitive spirit, or are selfish or greedy in our mindset and actions is not going to be an easy task, but we have to recognize in fairness that if we will not will the good of the other, then why should we expect them to will the good for us. So too, there isn't any point in taking on the guise of good manners if we aren't actively doing what we can to help bring out the best in others. In other words, to wish the best for the other, and to actually say that to them, but secretly not to really desire that, is hypocrisy, which is to a certain extent, worse than those that are upfront and to the point of what they do or don't care about when it comes to the other, as opposed to those that say what people want to hear, but are being dishonest about it.
The thing about human nature, especially in those western nations that emphasize competition as opposed to collaboration, is that a lot of people allow their competitive spirit to affect their mindset, so that they are worried that if they actually do wish the best for the other, that it will come at their personal expense, and because they do not desire to “lose” in this type of situation, they don't actually wish the best for the other. So too, this is the same sort of scenario that affects personal relationships, in which, many a person, doesn't want to be subservient to or to lose face to the other, so they can't really honestly wish the best for the other, but rather they basically wish that the other does well, but not exceedingly well, because they worry that this will come at their personal expense. Indeed, there are very few people that are willing to as John the Baptist so did, express themselves in this manner that “He must increase, but I must decrease,” (John 3:30). Those that do so, though, are those that truly do wish the best for the other, and do so out of an unselfish and undying love.