Each of us is used to using words to get across what we want to say to the other, without though many of us comprehending that each of us interprets those words as being spoken or written in their own individual way. In other words, what we speak and say is interpreted differently by different people, and usually interpreted in a way that the person listening or reading finds most consistent with what they believe has been said or thought they have heard. So too, the tonality and the emphasis that we place upon words can change the meaning of those words, so it is fair to say that what we as speakers think that we have said, may not always be in close harmony with the interpretation by the person so receiving those spoken words.
It has to be remembered that spoken words are a verbal representation of what we are trying to get across to the other, for without words, our body language and our expressed movements would have to thus be interpreted by the other to best understand what we were trying to convey. The very purpose of the words that we speak is ideally to get across to the other, what we desire to express so that they correctly understand us. However, because each of us speaks and writes in our own unique way, and further to the point, we typically come from different backgrounds, what we so speak and write may well be interpreted by the other in a manner that is not consistent with what we were trying to convey. Indeed, the closer our relationship is to who we are speaking to, such as someone who is our sibling, or our parent, the more that they will correctly understand what we are saying, even when we don’t say it all that well. However, for those that we don’t really know that well, and whose life experiences are different than ours, they may well misinterpret what we have said, and in certain situations, this can create a lot of grief and even trouble.
Additionally, there are those times when we are unable to express in words, what we are really thinking, because we can’t seem to find the words that will accurately reflect that, which for some people, is indicative of their nervousness or else their lack of depth with their vocabulary, and thus their inability to clearly formulate their thoughts into words and expressions that are readily understood. To be able to communicate effectively to the other, and to know for a certainty that the person listening to us, actually understands what we are trying to say, and even further to the point, understands the implication of what we have said, is the very best part of good communication, which is necessary for society to best function well.
Undeniably, a good listener is not just somebody who actually listens well, but is also somebody who can take the words that have been spoken and connect them correctly to the body language of that person, while also taking into account their historical interactions with that person, so that they thus absorb correctly the true meaning of what has been said. That, indeed, is why we need to do our level best to truly understand the other because in doing so, we become more in tune with them and also are better able thus to circumvent the troubles that misinterpreted communication can cause us.