The art of conversation and the proper interpretation of such, really is a skill, that not everybody ever achieves, or even tries to achieve, because those that believe that the words spoken should always be taken in a literal way or that we should immediately react to what has been said, without forethought or contemplation, represents a person that is not utilizing their thinking and their experience to try to come to the correct interpretation and understanding of what has been said.
It has to be admitted that there are those occasions in which people are emotionally charged and say all sorts of cruel things, and thereby, what we need to do is calmly try to see through the emotions to try to get to the crux of the matter, which can be problematic when what we are hearing is insulting, hurtful, or threatening to us. Nevertheless, we need to try, which is why it is important to actually learn to read between the lines so as to thereby discover what it is that is really meant by the words that we have heard.
That is to say, for example, the hurtful words being expressed can often be attributed to that person’s frustration, in which the words being spoken are a reflection of that frustration, which should signify to the listener that the best way to respond to that frustration is to not let those emotional words overwhelm us or to take it personally, but rather to try to discover what it is that has frustrated the other and to the degree that we can help to address that frustration, to aid in doing so. This means that we need to understand that behind hurtful words is typically a hurting person, and the solution to resolving that hurt is to work together on alleviating it.
So too, those that are good listeners are the same that do not make snap judgments in regards to the character of the person so speaking, mainly because that doesn’t help the situation, for by labeling the other as selfish, rude, wrong, and so on, doesn’t do anything to deal constructively with why they have a particular ugly feeling, but rather we should listen to what they have to say and reflect back to them in a fair manner, what we believe that they have said, to get clarification that we are on the same basic page, for to assume that we understand one another can be the type of assumption which isn’t correct and can thereby lead to even more frustration.
In this world, we deal with each other through various forms of communication, of which people who are upset typically are going to exaggerate their feelings because they have let their emotions get the better of them, which is why we should try to remain calm, which thereby provides us with a better opportunity to be of service to them, by finding the hurt that they are expressing and then helping to find a way to alleviate that hurt through our thoughtful and considerate response.