It used to be that American families were far larger in the number of children they had. This had a lot to do with the fact that, back in the days of farmers and an agricultural workplace, children represented “free labor,” and the more hands on deck, the more of that necessary work could be accomplished. So too, in an era in which there was no electricity, when dusk became night, there really wasn’t a lot for a family to do, and without any form of birth control, more children were created.
In today’s world, while not every child is an expected or planned child, couples do have the capacity to control those things, and in consideration that most potential parents understand well that children are no longer free labor but represent a financial burden, that is, an expense, there is more consideration made before having a child. Further to the point, women are much more career-oriented in their lives, and therefore don’t have the time or energy to birth a lot of children, and when they do so, it’s typically at a far later age for those mothers than was the case back in the 18th century.
In consideration that one of the main reasons why child mortality was relatively high back in the 18th century had a lot to do with communicable infectious diseases which could not be prevented, because vaccines to deal with such didn’t exist, and also considering that poor sanitation and susceptibility to infectious diseases were part and parcel of the living conditions for a significant swath of Americans, childhood mortality therefore was a fairly common occurrence, signifying that the burying of one’s child was not infrequent in many a case.
In today’s world, we have community sanitation that is quite good, and not only vaccines that will eradicate communicable diseases, but we also have a modern healthcare system that is structured to be quite competent in dealing with children and their potential illnesses. This would seem to strongly suggest that children of today would seldom predecease their parents; yet, we find that this is not such an uncommon occurrence, because things such as auto fatalities and other deadly accidents occur far more frequently than we might imagine. So too, suicides of adolescents are far higher than what they were back in the 18th century, along with the fact that gun violence is endemic in certain areas of our communities, as well as we also have the deadly scourge of drug overdoses, killing our children way before their time.
So then, it is really not uncommon for parents of today to have to bury their own child, which seems to be the very opposite of what those parents believed would occur when their child was first born and therefore makes it hard for those parents to deal with such, because it is so unexpected and unwanted. Yet, it happens, and when it does, it provides those parents with the sure knowledge that our great expectations for those that we love did not ever occur, and this leaves us barren, especially because we know that what has been lost cannot be replaced.