The desire to be liked and valued / by kevin murray

Almost everyone, without exception, wants to be liked and to be valued, especially by those people that are most important to them.  After all, this world is a rather lonely place without human companionship and the respect of one's peers.  That said, for some people, being liked seems to come naturally to them, whereas for others it is much more of a struggle.  While there may be many reasons why this is so, fundamentally the main reason is that those that are likeable typically present themselves and behave in a manner which is likeable, and those that do not, find it more problematic to be likeable.


That is to say, since most every life presents at various times: challenges, troubles, pain, and sorrow to at least some degree; people therefore have a natural tendency to gravitate to those that make them feel better about their own life and their own situation, in contrast to all those that are seemingly narrow-minded, argumentative, and uncaring.  So that, the first part of being liked and valued, is treating people with the appropriate attention and concentration that demonstrates that one is actually concerned about another, as compared to being just about one's own self or displaying a blithe unconcern.


So then, for example, it isn't fair to expect that one's own selfish and bad behavior will not have meaningful consequences in how we are perceived by other people.  So that, when we are all about our own self, to the exclusion of all others, then one might expect that selfish person to be rather emotionally lonely, since that person has deliberately created a construct in which they are really just about what is in it for their own self.  On the other hand, those that sincerely care about other people and are able to demonstrate that in their actions and behaviors, are going to be seen as of value to other people, because most people appreciate having someone that they can count on as well as to lean on; especially in consideration that life, in many respects, necessitates cooperation and cohesion.


Additionally, everyone that is liked by others appreciates such, because it validates them as a person of value.  So then, it can be stated, that those that are valued, in almost all cases, have a far better self-image as opposed to those that perceived themselves as not being valued, or aren't really sure of their value.  Yet, as in most everything, such is not static, but is always subject to the whims and changes of everyday life; for those that believe that they can simply rely on their past behavior or to be defined just by their past, without taking into account the present or the future, will find that their image is subject to change, for better or for worse.


We are who we are, by the things that we do day-by-day, and should we find that we are not so happy with what we appear to be, then it is our own responsibility to change such.  The change that we should desire to make, is the change that will help make our relationships better; and that change often involves behaving in a heartfelt manner that shows that we truly care about others and by doing our part to make things better for them, we will, far more often than not, be valued and liked.