Troubled relationships often come from thwarted desires / by kevin murray

We live in societies as well as being intimately involved with our families, in which in all of these things, various relationships are developed.  Of those relationships, whether personal, professional, or a combination thereof, each person has an obligation to understand the validity of the other person or group of persons, as opposed to running roughshod over others.  That is to say, for a healthy relationship to be developed, each person must be accorded respect, consideration, and empathy.   To the degree that this is both done and truly believed in, the better the chances that relationship will be satisfactory and beneficial for all parties.


Unfortunately, life has its troubles, its stresses, and its frustrations, so that even the best of people, may not feel that they always have the time to really listen to the other, especially when they need to talk or express their own feelings at that moment; and further when they believe that enough of the weight of the world is already resting upon their shoulders.  Therefore, it is not unusual for one person to be up in arms about something in which, the other person who has their own concerns and troubles on their mind, simply isn't really there; all of which leads to a rather anemic give and take, in which neither party is actively listening to the other.


That is to say, in any troubled relationship, such is usually started through the lack of good communication, and thereby often leads to the inevitable miscommunication between the parties, one to the other.  So then, when one person in particular, feels that they are being effectively ignored or marginalized or misunderstood, then that person often begins to breed resentment towards the other, especially when they believe that the relationship deserves the upmost attention and concern by the other party, which apparently is not being displayed.


So then, when those that deeply desire to have strong and healthy relationships with others, discover that or believe strongly that in their analysis, neither of these is actually occurring, such will often build frustration within that person.  Of which, this frustration will compound upon itself, leading that person to dwell almost exclusively upon their own wants, desires, and what they believe should be occurring, resulting often in the two-way communication window rapidly closing, and consequently being replaced instead with one person's ego, which apparently will broker no dissent.


This thus means that the poor communication, begets the troubled relationship, of which because at least one person's ego is frustrated in its desires, then the relationship has effectively devolved into a contest and a confrontation of egos, which is toxic to that relationship.  Therefore, all those that are frustrated in their relationships, in order to regain a healthy and viable relationship, must thrust their egos and thereby their thwarted desires into the back seat, and instead concentrate on the first order of things, which is a good and open communication channel, which thereby validates the other person and their concerns, in the recognition, that each party has intrinsic worth and value, that each therefore should be entitled to a voice and a corresponding audience, so as to create the needed harmony which is indicative of a healthy relationship.