As much as we might want to believe that the world that we live in consists of people living in a civil society in which none are coerced into behaving in a certain manner that betrays who they really are by having them do something that they do not countenance, that, though, isn’t the case at all. Indeed, those who have been intimidated or bullied into behaving in a certain way that goes against their values resent it. So then, while we might like to believe that people always have complete sovereignty over their person, the actuality is that many a person does not, and thus has to cede control to somebody or something else, who may or may not have their best interests in mind, of which, this occurs because they aren’t in a strong enough position to maintain their agency.
While there is a place for coercion in the sense that sometimes the urgency of a given situation, necessitates compliance without hesitation, we do find that most of the time those that intimidate and bully us are doing so, not for our benefit, and not for our greater good, but rather are doing so for their own reasons which typically do not well align with our desires or preferences.
So too, those that insist upon obtaining obedience from the other, and care not for any pushback, are the same that are using coercion as a tool to control or to mold the other, which creates a construct in which those left with little or no choice, may well be obedient in their current actions, but they aren’t so obedient in their mind, which is why we see those that have been pushed too far and taken advantage of, eventually react in a way that may appear to be extreme, but in actuality is a reflection that they have reached their limit and have thereupon hit back.
All of the above signifies that healthy relationships necessitate a form of give and take, thereby affecting respect from the other, which comes forth when each is accorded a fair say, rather than one entity intimidating another to comply with their wishes or else the other will suffer some sort of imminent harm. Indeed, obedience in the sense of duty has its place, but obedience achieved through relentless intimidation is not the same thing, and those who get their way through coercion need to understand that there are different degrees of compliance, and those who resent what is happening to them may yet have their say.
Additionally, it needs to be said that those who feel that they have been bullied into compliance are going to be far less inclined to do all that they could do when called upon, as resentment breeds some degree of contempt, and those who feel contempt are not going to willingly go above and beyond in whatever that is expected of them, but rather are going to do only that which they can get away with, because they refuse to be treated as someone not deserving of the respect, that all are equally entitled to.