The changes that we desire in our civil society start with ourselves. That is to say, we can’t expect the change that we are in favor of to occur without ourselves behaving in a manner that reflects the change that we want to see actualized and doing our good part to help bring this to fruition. In other words, if we want a more civil society, we need to be more civil to one another, and if we can't do that ourselves, then we aren’t contributing in a positive way to the change that we want.
Look, it’s true that we cannot change others simply through the force of our mind, but we can though lead by example, so that the type of behavior that we desire to see in the other, we first exhibit ourselves. Further to the point, we should want to encourage good behavior, by appreciating behavior that is conducive to a good civil society, which means that those that can maintain their cool, even while everyone else seems to be losing their head, are the very type of people, that we should not only admire, but should desire to emulate, because in the scheme of things, people tend to overreact upon certain events, and it is desirable to be around people that while acknowledging injustice, don’t end up taking on the cloak of injustice and incivility, themselves.
Indeed, whatever our pet peeves are about the other, the important thing is to do our good part in doing the right thing, and behaving thereby in the right way, which may serve as a good example for those who need direction. After all, hypocrisy is insisting upon people behaving a certain way, but not conforming to that way ourselves, which is why we not only need consistency, but also why we need to monitor our own behavior, so that we exemplify the very characteristics that we desire to see exhibited by more people.
The least that we should do is to make it our point to see that we don’t make worse a situation that is already degenerating, by giving in to negative emotions, and by doing negative actions, that we often are going to regret later. That is why we need to think before we act, and not only that, we should already know how we should act, and to thereby conform to that ideal, to the best of our ability, because not only will that make for better relationships, but it also serves to remind us how difficult it is to maintain our good demeanor and balance, when things are going wrong.
It is our obligation to the society that we are a part of, to do our fair part to help make that society a better place for our participation in it, which is why we should judge less, and simply be about our business to help get done what needs to get done, and also to relate to people on a level that takes into consideration that their inherent value is no less than our own.