We find that it is human nature for a significant portion of us to engage in gossip from time to time, and the gossip so spoken is almost invariably not about how good and gracious somebody else is, but rather has a lot to do with their foibles and faults, instead. The reason why we have a strong tendency to gossip and why bad news seems to spread a heck of a lot faster than good news, is that we as flawed human beings, feel the need, to pick on the faults of another, in order to say to ourselves that as bad and as stupid as we might appear to be, that what we are and what we have done is not nearly as bad and as stupid as this other person and thus this helps not only to justify ourselves in our own eyes, but plainly makes us to feel better that we aren’t all that bad or stupid, after all.
The thing about gossip is that most people that do gossip do not desire that what they have said which is disparaging or embarrassing to the other person, would ever come back to them as the person so speaking of such, not just because this can create a rather awkward moment but also because the point of gossiping isn’t really for the other person to learn or know about such, but rather it’s to have someone else to kick about and to make fun of essentially, and is thus mainly done for our own amusement, though there are times when it is done in a more vindictive manner.
The one thing that people need to be more cognizant of when gossiping, is the fact that most of us probably would not appreciate being gossiped about in an especially negative and belittling way, and whenever that is the case, we ought to remember that discretion is the better part of valor and therefore not to engage therefore in saying things that we would first of all, never say to the person we were gossiping about to their face, and further to the point, we would be shamed if they were to find out that we said it, not so much because we are ugly people but mainly because we would feel guilty about saying what we said, when we could have just kept our mouth quiet.
So too, for those that would rather hear less negative things about the faults of others, the best way to reduce such is to simply not be a part of such gossip, by either not listening to such or being a party to such, but also by making it our principle that when we talk about others, we do so in a format as if the person so being talked about, was actually there, which obviously cuts down on negative gossip, considerably, as when it comes to gossip, it takes at least two to play the game, and if the other person isn’t interested, then the game, in essence, ends.
The other side of gossip is the recognition that the “cheap shots” that we take at others are probably not the type of cheap shots that we would like taken against ourselves. In other words, we shouldn’t engage in activities that we would not appreciate if they were turned about and played against us, and while we might think or know some character flaws of the other, or areas in which they could improve, we ought to make up our mind to do our fair part to aid and to help the other, rather than participate in that which doesn’t reflect upon us as being a person of integrity and good.